Mindset

Read this if you identify as a people pleaser

By January 26, 2020 No Comments

Hello! Welcome back to the Gem Fitness blog.

You have got to keep reading if you identify as a people pleaser. I have an important message for you.

I was on a call with my business coach and fellow mastermind ladies today and they started to briefly talk about all being people pleasers. They were all laughing a little together and agreeing that they too were people pleasers. One even innocently said “I mean isn’t everyone?!” 

That got me thinking.

I was thinking to myself “uhhh..nope. Not me!” 

So of course – me being me –  I said it out loud. 

Everyone laughed and not because I am funny (which I am), but because they know me well enough to know it is true. 

This all sparked a brief conversation, but after we all logged off I really got to thinking. 

I am pretty damn proud to not be a people pleaser. I wear that shit like a badge of honor.

Here is why:

Being a people pleaser means that you are so concerned about what others think, what makes them happy, what upsets them, and what offends them that you allow it to dictate whether or not you follow through on pursuing what you really love and what you really want to do. 

Me, on the other hand, I have learned to cope with my fear other people’s thoughts, apprehensions, and not-so-great reactions to what it is that I want and what I do. 

By learning how to cope with this, I have stepped into a whole new greatness where I actually do the damn thing! I take more action. I see better results. I feel a shit ton better. I am happier. I am pursuing my passion.

I know you people pleasers out there mean well. I don’t believe there to be any “ill hearted” people pleasers out there. The problem is, being a people pleaser often leads to trouble

You don’t workout because you’re afraid it means you’re putting yourself ahead of your kids and that they won’t like that.

You don’t stand up for yourself because you think it may offend the person offending you. 

You don’t want to start that business because you are afraid your friends and family won’t understand it or won’t be comfortable with it.

You see where I am going with this?

There are things you aren’t doing because of your beliefs about how others with think or react.

I am here to give you permission to pursue whatever it is you need to pursue in order to be the healthiest and happiest version of yourself. 

Do what sets  you on fire. 

Some things to consider (I would get out your notebook and write this shit down):

  1. How is being a people pleaser holding you back?
  2. Have the people in your life actually told you that they feel the way you think they do?
  3. If no, why are you so worried about something that is only a “what if”?
  4. If yes, why does it matter? What does it change?

DISCLAIMER: you are not a bad person for identifying as a people pleaser. You don’t suck for thinking about others. You aren’t awful for wanting wants best for other people. 

You just need to stop holding yourself back because of it. 

You  just need to give yourself permission.

You just need to start pursuing what makes you the healthiest and happiest version of yourself.

Sooo…

What are you waiting for?

Go be a badass.

*If you are all ready to go kick ass now because you realize I have a point (wink wink), but you aren’t quite sure where to start in terms on getting healthier, working out more, and eating better… I got something for you. I created a free 14 day challenge called, “14 Days to Less Fat and More Confidence.” This challenge is built to help women to jump start their fat loss and to build a foundation for healthier life. So, when you have given yourself permission to stop “people pleasing” and to get healthier, this is going to give you super simple tasks to build a healthier lifestyle. Click here to register for free today!

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